


An Open Letter to Dean Winchester From a Drunken Castiel

by Notenoughforgenius



Series: Love Letters: a written history in pining [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, Pining, drunken love letters, love letter, men of letters... hahah get it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 12:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2622299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notenoughforgenius/pseuds/Notenoughforgenius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some get drunk and show up on doorsteps to confess their love. Some make a phone call. Castiel writes letters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Open Letter to Dean Winchester From a Drunken Castiel

Dean,  
I’d like to start this by simply telling you how important you are to me. Yours was the first human face that made me feel. You gave me a reason to be here, something beautiful to fight for. You made me angry and you made me sad, but most of all you made me happy. And I think I’ve found another word for that happiness, something that describes it better. Love.  
It’s terrifying to think it, even more so to write it down. Quantifying it, labeling it, makes it real and now I have to face it. But I’ve been running from it for years now. It’s time for me to fight for my beautiful thing. Besides, alcohol does a magnificent job of dulling the pain.  
I know that our relationship is scarred by our past: the bad decisions we’ve made, the choices we’ve faced, and the times we’ve been driven apart, either by ourselves or someone else. Each time we’ve been driven back together. You’ve forgiven me, and I know how hard that is for you to do. We are linked to each other. And I hope you know that no matter what lies ahead of us in the future, I want to be by your side. I don’t expect you to love me as I do you, but I will always be there for you to fall back on. You have my word.  
I’ll never let you see this letter. You guard your heart so carefully, and I’d hate to break your trust. I’d hate to find the point where you can no longer forgive me. So I will keep all of this to myself. Let it out, drink it down, burn it away. I would rather love you from a far and have you in my life than to become greedy for your affections and lose you forever. Greed is a sin, after all.  
There’s no good way to conclude this, although I guess don’t have to since it is for me and me alone. But Dean, if I have one hope for you, for us, it is that one day we will be together. Happy. You and me, our friends and family, with no more fighting, no more problems. Maybe your hairline will be receding, maybe your hair will be turning gray, and your eyes will hold the lines of the few smiles you’ve allowed yourself.  
Maybe, in this dream of mine, we’ll finally watch those movies you talk about. I’ll listen to your music, and tell you about the beautiful things I’ve seen in my years of watching mankind. I won’t ask more of you, I promise. I simply want us to be happy. Whether it’s on this Earth or in heaven, I hope we’ll have more time together, more moments like this.  
But if we don’t, I hope you’ll find someone else to have them with. Because, more than anything else, I want you to be happy. Isn’t that what love is, after all?  
I love you, truly,  
Castiel

**Author's Note:**

> haha how the hell do you end a letter? anyway, this is a companion to dean's letter to cas. Check it out. 
> 
> Come talk to me at bytouchalone.tumblr.com


End file.
